On a great and ugly morning, Mario sat on a towl. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His leg ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Peach to love someone with a slow nose?
Heavily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a creepy short cat, all on a summer's day. I wish my Peach would smack me, in her own dumb way..."
"Do you?" Peach sat down beside Mario and put her hand on Mario's finger. "I think that could be arranged."
Mario gasped huskily. "But what about my slow nose?"
"I like it," Peach said evilly. "I think it's fast."
They came together and their kiss was like a dumbfounded cat that eats its own hairballs.
"I love you," Mario said dazily.
"I love you too," Peach replied and smacked him.
They bought a Rhino, moved in together, and lived poorly ever after. ))